Dear Mr. Cooke, from the Inland Revenue ministry,
Errors are being made by your department, unnecessarily.
I wrote on the first of September giving notification
The name you give me, I have no affiliation.
Mrs. Haslam, I have never been.  I must register objection.
 
In your letter of 26th August there was no manifestation
About the letter from your department, written in two thousand and six,
Giving information of Double Taxation.  I have exemption,
I enclosed this letter for your information, but this your department made no mention.
Why you continue writing to me I have no notion.
 
I have no business or property ties in the UK
And I have no desire to visit or return one day;
No bank account or income, outside my pensions bestowed,
Details you know, as a cheque from you to me was owed.
 
From June 2005 Cyprus tax returns I have filed.
Please explain why, and under which law to you, I now must comply.
I live on this island not on yours and here I will die.
 
Should cruel fate unforeseen blight my life with a near death blow,
Cast a dark shadow on my sweet life now aglow
And I am physically forced, by Cyprus, to return to my native shore;
Mr. Cooke, I will tell you, you can rest assured.